Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Called to Trust

“Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am  trusting You. Show me where to walk,
for I give myself to You.”
Psalm 143:8 (NLT)
Millions of thoughts are racing through my mind like shooting stars, landing at the center of my heart with varying degrees of explosiveness as I soak up those freeing words again.  God has been taking me on a trust journey this last month and, truth be told, I’m still on it.
He’s been teaching me how to trust Him more…with every detail of my life.  It’s kinda funny, you would think that since I trust Him with my eternal destination, it would be really easy to trust Him with the temporary things here on earth.  Specifically, I’m talking about my vocation…where I work.  We often refer to it as a calling. To be really transparent, over the past 3-4 years, I’ve been crying, arguing, crying, whining and pleading with God. Telling Him I don’t understand…asking Him why.  Why can’t I work in full-time ministry with my friends? I love it there…it’s fun, positive, upbeat.  It’s comfortable.
Just like God called Moses from the desert or David from the fields, sometimes He calls us from our comfort zones. At this moment, He is calling me to downtown Houston…a sheltered country girl to the heart of our nation’s 4th largest city.  Not just an occasional visit to Jones Hall or the Toyota Center, but to actually spend the better part of 240 out of 365 days each year. Sometimes the very thought of this peaks my curiosity about what God is up to and sometimes it leaves me shaking in my boots.
Has He ever called you from your comfort zone?  Has He ever placed you in the midst of danger…between the enemy army and the Red Sea…before a giant with just a sling and a stone?
During this journey, I’ve wondered about trust.  What exactly is it? We tend to throw that word around so easily until it is tested.
We can trust those that never lie to us.  He is Truth.
We can trust those that will never leave us. We have His Word: He “will never leave or forsake” us.
We can trust those that love us.  He is Love. He loves us and left everything, gave up everything, and sacrificed everything…even to the point of an unspeakable, tortuous death.  All so He could always be with us.

In further researching trust, I find that the main message out there is “don’t trust anyone and you won’t get hurt.”  I even ran across echoes of my own heart in “don’t let your guard down because as soon as you do, they will either move away, die or leave you.”  But the most impactful one I found was this one, written by an Anonymous writer:
“If you say you can trust someone then you are admitting to something even greater than love. Trust involves all your thoughts and emotions to be given to someone so they can have them. Trusting someone is knowing that you can be hurt so bad that none can even know. This is why trust is a word of great power.”
Hmmm…trust is greater than love.  Enlightening.   But the second line is what really got me…basically, giving all of my thoughts, emotions, even my will to someone so they can have them. 
Do I really believe that God is sovereign over every aspect of my life?
If I do, I can trust Him with everything in my life. Every moment.  Every step. Everything.

Then the question for me, for all of us, is: Will I trust Him? Will I unwrap my tightly clenched fingers to those things that make me feel safe, secure and comfortable so that He can hold my hand and lead me where He wants me to go? Will I surrender my desires for His?
At last, there is only one answer for me. With arms lifted high and heart abandoned, I can now authentically echo the words of The Stand “What can I say? What can I do? But offer my heart, O God, completely to you?”
Thank you, O gracious Father, for not giving up on me.  Thank You for Your kindness…even when Your answer is “No.” Thank You for Your relentless love.  Right now, I especially thank You for ever so gently molding my heart, taking my hand and teaching me to trust You with everything.  I offer all of me to You.  After all, Your precious blood bought and paid for me.  I am Yours! –In the hands of my dear Savior, Amen.

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